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... Not my type Not my type

5 February 2008

A dating expert has been exploring how our personality can shape our relationship.

Dr John Gottman, author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail and an experienced therapist, told MSN there were four unhealthy personalities that are likely to conflict with a partner.

Firstly is the Pleaser, who thinks in terms of 'we' rather than 'me' and does not need time away from her partner. Though loyal and dependable, Pleasers can find it hard to adjust to change and their lack of adventure can lead to staidness.

Then there is the One-upper, who can never admit to being wrong. Instead of listening, she always goes straight into persuasive mode and can rarely communicate without passion.

Avoiders are in many ways the opposite of One-uppers, running headlong from any conflict and opting not to share their true feelings. Many Avoiders relish time alone.

Finally, the Catastrophiser tends, as their name suggests, to have an accusatory outlook as their default mode and blame their partner for everything.